Sunday, September 6, 2009

Thoughts from the Couch on an Incredible Sports Weekend

College football, baseball, and US Open tennis make the first weekend in September one of the best sports weekends of the year.

Thoughts From The Couch

*I don't care how many outfield assists Hunter Pence racks up. He throws like a schoolgirl.

*I think football players should be flagged for excessive celebration when it's not warranted (ie anytime a touchdown isn't scored or change of possession does not occur). It's becoming pretty annoying when a running back gets stopped for a three yard gain on first-and-ten and the defense goes crazy. Pick your celebration spots.

*Last year, Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor wore eyeblack with the Buckeyes' emblem. During yesterday's narrow opening day victory, Pryor donned eyeblack that said "Vick." I wish I was making this up.

*I can't find a picture online, but the microphones on the umpire's chair at the US Open can best be described as anti-Bob Barker. They are ginormous. I thought advancements is technology would lead to smaller devices. Apparently, this is not the case for microphones.

*I am convinced Rafael Nadal wears a thong. No other type of undergarment could possibly cause that many wedgies in need of picking.

*Speaking of Nadal, at a charity event last week that was held near my office, Rafael Nadal was challenged with the task of returning 10 shots into the court of play against a ball machine set to a maximum of 50mph. All he had to do was put the ball in play 10 consecutive times to win the charity $10,000. He went 8-for-10. It was embarrassing. Based on this alone, I can't see the guy winning the Open.

*I saw Todd Martin on the street the other day. Somehow, he looks younger than he did during his playing days. I can't explain it. Maybe he's making a case to join Walt Frazier and Keith Hernandez in the next round of Just for Men commercials.

*Which professional tennis players wear adjustable hats backwards? First it was Nicolas Kiefer, then it was Lleyton Hewitt. Pony up the extra five bucks and get a fitted hat so we don't have to see the ridiculous forelock in the front of your head. Either that or don't wear a hat.

I am in no way a fashion expert, but even I can see that you look stupid.

More Weekend Observations / Things I Learned Recently

*JD Drew's real name is David Jonathan. Why doesn't he go by DJ?

*Thing I Hate Most About Fantasy Sports: Everyone is an expert. Quick story to prove my point.

At a recent draft, I was able to convince an opponent who claimed to be knowledgeable about football that Darren McFadden was an Irish immigrant.

*I haven't read Sports Illustrated in quite some time but they used to (and still might) have a little blurb called "The Apocalypse is Upon Us." I think a woman leaving college early to play professional basketball would qualify. On a related note, I wrote about this same Epiphany a few years back when she scored over 100 points in a high school game marking the only other time I have written about women's basketball. Hopefully, this will be the last.

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